Am I Really Doing This???

Well, holy kwap, Marie!

I've thought of creating this blog for a long time, but finally worked my way through the steps of Blogger, and here I am! What the hell am I doing???

I am a 48-year-old woman living in California. I used to work out every day and I had a very healthy diet, right up to four years ago. It all went to pot after I ran in the California International Marathon in Sacramento. They say take a couple of weeks off after a marathon...I took four years off, and ate and drank everything in sight. I ate cheese. I ate sour cream. I put butter on stuff. I had Alfredo sauce. After a week at a culinary boot camp in Napa, I ate whole skillets full of risotto. I drank wine. I ballooned to 211 pounds from my usual, fit 150 (muscle, baby, muscle!!!!). I am a size 18. I am fat. I don't recognize myself when I catch a glimpse of myself in the window. I am HORRIFIED when I see pictures of myself. I used to be outgoing, but now I try to fade into the background when I'm in a crowd. I don't know why I'm like this! I hate it! And I can't seem to find the motivation to get my ass in gear and work out again. Holy kwap.

So this is my story. I don't know if anyone will read it, but somehow I feel that by documenting it on a blog, I can do more than keep a training log; I can publicly display my efforts as losing weight, getting fit, getting strong, and rediscovering my "adult onset athlete."